What are the odds?
by Unjax
Summary: Weiss and Ruby got kidnapped. What are the odds?


He was sitting in another room, through a pane of frosted glass, slowly cleaning the keen blade that flashed over and over into her eyes. Weiss was finding it exceedingly annoying.

"You know, the odds of being killed by someone you don't know is like one in a billion. And there's two of us here, so…" Ruby spoke from the chair next to Weiss', the both of them bound.

"So?"

"So, like, at worst he'll kill one of us. And even that's not really likely."

"I think it's _very_ likely that he's going to do what he can to kill both of us. Ruby, that is _not_ how these things work. "

"It's like, 'what are the odds?'"

"What do _you_ mean? How is that remotely how statistics work!?"

"Well yeah. If, y'know, someone is about to be in a car crash, they know that only, say, a thousand people die in car crashes a year. Out of like… millions. So the odds are pretty good they're not going to die."

"Ruby, you are far more likely to die if you're about to be hit in your car as you would be by planning to take a drive later. Crashing is the thing that kills people."

"Yeah, but like you wouldn't be scared if you were about to be hit by a car."

" _Yes I would!_ "

"No! 'Cause you know it's not a high chance it'll be lethal."

"What do you think every person who dies in a car crash sees before they die?"

"Probably that they're about to crash."

"Exactly! Every single person who has died in a car crash has seen that they are about to be in a car crash. And you're telling me that doesn't worry you in the least?"

"Well, like a little. Like, I _know_ it _could_ happen, but it's so likely it won't, that it's not really something that I'd probably even think about."

"So, _for instance_ , when you've been trapped in a chair by some villainous schemer, all tied up, you wouldn't describe yourself as worried?"

"Nah, I'm super calm right now! Why? Are you worried?" Ruby cocked her head at Weiss.

Weiss wanted to scream at her stupid little face.

"I'm not exactly _relaxed!"_ She could feel the heat rising on her face.

"Don't be! There's practically no chance anything bad will happen."

"Ruby. Statistics do not work like that. The odds of us dying, in this situation, is much higher. Because of the aforementioned villainous schemer in the other room." Ruby just shrugged, brushing her shoulder against Weiss'.

"Okay, but then what's the use of people saying 'what're the odds of that?' Like why bother making the stat if you still have to worry about it while it's happening."

"Insurance mostly."

She felt Ruby laugh.

"Why does insurance care about the stats? They just deal with the cleanup of accidents!" Weiss gritted her teeth.

"Yes, exactly. So they need to be worried about how many… cleanups they have to do. That's how they judge how much they need to charge people to buy insurance."

"But don't they just change the amount once someone's been in a car crash? To like, make back the price of the loss?" Weiss gave a thin smile.

"Well, yes, but they wouldn't necessarily have enough money to pay it up front when the loss is incurred. That's why they always have to have more money than what would be expected to pay for your losses throughout your whole life. Your premiums are significantly more than what they would collectively add up to compared to if you had just all put money in a bank account together."

"That's kinda mean." Weiss shrugged.

"Insurance companies could never be successful if they didn't do it. They're able to help more people better because of it. It's really the best way to help more people."

"Insurance is stupid."

"Well, most businesses do it too."

"Really?" Ruby just sounded confused at this point.

"Well, why do you wear a seatbelt?"

"Because it's safer?"

"Exactly. Businesses were able to charge more to each person by including a safety feature."

"They increased the cost for that? I guess it's okay if was just by the amount that it cost to implement."

"Oh, no. The price charged is significantly higher than the cost to cover the addition."

"Well that's just mean too!"

"It's why the number of people who die in car crashes has steadily decreased."

"It's greedy!"

"Is it? With that extra money, they pay people to come up with better ways to make better cars. In addition to making them perform better, this includes safety features. They're saving lives while making a profit"

"Oh…" Ruby sounded very sad. "I thought they just did that because it's the right thing to do."

"No, it's about money." Weiss said, shaking her head.

"That's just wrong." Ruby seemed more concerned than anything.

"I don't think it's really right or wrong, it's just kind of what business do." Weiss answered with a shrug. "It's like a snake biting someone for getting too close, even though it can kill them, isn't wrong, y'know? That's what businesses do. Make money."

Ruby tensed as if she was going to talk, but the man came around the corner. He was wearing a clown mask. Weiss sighed and shook her head. Ruby started to giggle. He stiffened as he heard, angered. He hefted his cleaver and advanced.

Ruby hopped and twisted, her chair slamming into his legs, making him tumble backwards. Following her partner's lead, Weiss hoped up, making it land on its back. The wood splintered under her weight, and Weiss drew her arms under legs as she tumbled out of the fall. She saw the man swing at Ruby, who rolled and got the cleaver stuck in the wood. Ruby grunted as a cut no doubt opened on her back.

Weiss lunged forward, burying her shoulder in his stomach and knocking the breath out of him. He stumbled back, than kicked out at her leg, forcing Weiss to hop back. She went with the momentum, doing a handspring to distance herself.

Myrtenaester was resting a few feet to her side, and the clown saw it to. She lunged for the blade, but he caught her foot, sprawling her forward. Seeing she wouldn't get close enough to reach the handle, Weiss held her wrists out, praying she didn't miss as the blade sheared through the rope tying her hands together. Her wrists were spared, her face was not as she slammed into the ground.

There was a pause.

"Should have got some handcuffs…" The clown whispered remorsefully.

The clown pulled her back, and Weiss shook to free one leg. Loose, it tucked up, then rocketed down on his nose. He reeled back, clutching at his broken nose. She scrambled up, grabbed her sword, and rounded on him.

He had already dived back to where Ruby was laying, scooping up his cleaver. Fear gripped his eyes as he saw her, and he looked down at Ruby, raising the cleaver for a blow. Weiss, without the time to select the dust she wanted, ignited the one currently in the holster. A wall of flames shot forward as she slashed the air, splitting the distance between the clown and Ruby. He stumbled away and Weiss raced to Ruby's side, freeing her hands.

The other huntress leapt up and dive rolled towards Crescent Rose. _Always the first thing she goes to…_

Screaming, the man leapt through the wall of fire. He slashed at her, and Weiss stepped inside his guard, smacking his head with her hilt. She smashed through his meek aura and he crumbled to the ground, unconscious.

"Give me a hand with this." Weiss called to Ruby, each grabbing a shoulder and hauling him outside as the house burned down. The police showed up alongside the firemen, and they handed the convict over to them.

"I think this calls for drinks." Weiss said with a sigh, rubbing her swore wrists. "Toss a coin for who buys the first round?" Ruby laughed.

"Only if I get heads!" Weiss raised an eyebrow.

"There's like a fifty point, lots of zeros, 1 percent chance it lands on heads."

"That's… still basically random. Hardly a guarantee."

"Yes it is! There's a higher than fifty percent chance, so it's the most likely one for it to land on. It will probably happen."

"Technically, but it doesn't work like that. Did you not ever flip a coin over and over again to see how often it would land heads, then tails, then heads, and so on? It hardly ever happens."

Ruby scrunched up her face. "Pff. No! No one had time for that! We were always running around or playing or reading or eating or sleeping. I'm glad life got easier from when we were kids."

"You think… Life is easier now? We almost just got axe murdered."

"Well yeah… You get a lot of free time now. Like after work and stuff like that. We can go home and do whatever we want, like watch tv. We didn't have that time when we were kids because we were always playing… You had time besides that?"

Weiss turned away.

"Forget about the drinks." She said numbly, looking down at the coin in her hand and frowning.

"Oh no! This is a cause for celebration! We almost got axe murdered! Imagine the story we can tell Yang and Blake later! We gotta coordinate our story now before they get to ask."

"I… Excuse me?" Weiss looked around confused. Not sure what else to do, she flipped the coin. Ruby caught it with a laugh.

"Did you guess the odds that maybe I just want to buy you a drink?" Ruby winked at her and grabbed walked towards a pub just down the street. _Did she just- did I just- am I -_ "See Weiss!"

"Huh?"

"I told you there was like, no chance we were going to die!" This time, Weiss just laughed. It was most definitely a time to celebrate.

/

 _A/n_

 _I'm not really sure what this one is. Something fun to write. January moncon. Who knows?_

 _Loosely inspired by a conversation I had with someone sometime._

 _So cheers to that person for that thing s/he did._

 _Cheers,_

 _Unjax_


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